Mother's Day can be difficult for those of us who have experienced an abortion. I remember feeling nauseous when the priest asked mothers to stand for a blessing and to be recognized in church during Sunday Mass.
Of course, I had living children, so I felt obligated to stand, but I didn't think I deserved the blessing and I couldn't shake the feelings of guilt and despair when thinking of my son Joshua, whom I had aborted as a teenager.
Our faith teaches us that sin affects us all. Our behaviors are influenced by our experiences and our sins have consequences. The consequences of my sin, especially a sin as grave as abortion, touched an incalculable number of people, and even society as a whole, but I didn't realize it.
I remember one Mother's Day when I walked around town for hours with my two young sons, unable to stop crying. At the time, I had no idea it was because of the void left by my son's abortion. I was not aware of the many ways my abortion had affected my life, but it had touched every aspect of it.
But it wasn't just my life that was affected, but the lives of everyone I touched. My family, who pushed me to abort. The poor choices I continued to make because of self-hatred. Even my living sons, who lived with a mother unable to heal at the time.
But the story does not end there.
Behold, I make all things new. Through the grace of the sacraments, a growing knowledge of my faith, and finally, post-abortion healing, I was able to accept the forgiveness of our God of love and mercy, who ardently desired to bring me back to Himself, to my repentance and my healing. By learning about the dynamics of abortion, I was able to forgive myself, change my behavior, and be reconciled with others—especially with my aborted son Joshua, who "lives in the Lord" (Evangelium Vitae, 99).
I won't tell you it was easy, but it was worth it. The peace that only Christ can bring can fill your heart with gratitude and His love, and a spiritual relationship can develop with your child as you meet in prayer and the Holy Eucharist.
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Abortion is a horrible sin, but we must never forget that God's mercy is greater than any sin, if we are sorry, and that He does not desire our destruction, but our reconciliation, with the certainty that we will one day be together in eternity.
If you have experienced an abortion, do not despair when the priest asks you to stand for the Mother's Day blessing, but welcome it into your heart with gratitude for God's mercy, knowing that one day, you will be with your child in heaven.
This article was originally published by the National Catholic Register (Article Link). It is republished and translated with the author's permission.